Exercise that I did In class and certainly must share with you all,
From the book “The prophet” by Kahlil Gibran (you MUST read it)
Take a subject that matters to you and talk about it.
First of all, there is 2 things about it, I Love talking, and I need talking.
And those 2 things came both from one big thing about me,
I have extreme empathy (I can be happy because 2 people near me are, even if i don’t hear them talking about it) and that can be really difficult to live with. Therapist told me it’s called “Bipolar Disorder Spectrum” it’s the only mental disorder that is not curable you just have to live with it and try to reason it. It affect 10% of the population in 6 different stages (i’m number 3) mostly artists or genius, if you wanna learn about it more further, google it ! :) And that’s why those things may matter even more to me than to others.
So, First of all, I love words, I love the meaning of it, because even when you are looking at synonymous they haven’t got the “same” meaning, if you choose to say “I adore you” it’s not exactly meaning “I love you”. I also love the pronunciation of words regarding their meaning, the phonetic way of saying it, for instance “Love” is softer than “Death” and “Pleasure” is much more softer than “Pain” (if you don’t understand say it) .
Of course that’s mostly the reason of my first coming into Drama classes, I love to discover how a drama writer has chosen carefully his words, and how the sound of it makes the difference of sensation for the actor and audience, ears, and tongue are the first to receive written words and it is a feeling even before reaching the brain.
Then why do i “Need” to Talk ? That’s less pretty, I must talk because it’s the way that civilisation has chosen to convey ideas, feelings and thoughts. But that is only meaning full when you’re having great conversations about something interesting ! Not when you’re doing small talks.
I need to talk because I am afraid of being alone, and talking makes me feel that I’m interacting with people so not alone. I need to talk because I cannot bear silence, I find it awkward, when I’m alone I can enjoy silence, but when I’m with people I tend to be frightened and stressed by silence, and because of my disorder when people are talking but not to me I feel really left apart and it can easily depress me.
So I talk but often I’m saying things that are not interesting and I feel stupid so it’s not even better, when I want to say things interesting I tend to talk about myself because that’s the only thing I really know, and It feels like I’m seeking attention so it doesn’t work because people don’t want to talk with seeking attention person.
Here is a quote from Pulp Fiction “That’s when you found somebody really special, when you can just shut the fuck up a minute. Comfortably share silence.”
